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Let’s talk about Wild-Card Weekend’s New England at Buffalo



Josh Allen takes on Mac Jones as the Bills get the Patriots on Saturday in Buffalo.

Josh Allen takes on Mac Jones because the Payments get the Patriots on Saturday in Buffalo.
Illustration: Getty Pictures

I concern to guess the principle query on the minds of Payments’ followers heading into Saturday evening’s playoff sport in opposition to the Patriots, however one of many recurring queries must be, “Are you kidding me?” Not solely have they got to face New England, the longtime rival who has owned them for the previous couple of a long time, with a coach broadly thought of to be one the most effective (if not the most effective) of all time, however did you examine the climate report?

The final time these two groups performed in Buffalo, it was that windy, wet, chilly fiasco the place Mac Jones threw the ball thrice, and the Pats nonetheless received. This time, when it actually issues, the temperature is going to be in the single digits with a bit of a breeze once more. Rain is just not within the forecast, in order that’s good, however they’re hardly preferrred passing circumstances for Josh Allen.

On paper — and in Vegas — the Payments (-4) are favored, however to the informal soccer fan, selecting up the newspaper (or pulling up the weekend slate in your telephone) and seeing “New England v. Buffalo, Sat. 7:30 p.m.,” your reflex is to roll your eyes and assume the Patriots’ reign of abuse will proceed.

Nevertheless, beating the bully when it issues most, in entrance of EVERYBODY usually is what vanquishes them. Take into consideration when Michael Jordan lastly beat the Pistons, or when LeBron James lastly beat the Celtics, or when Tom Osborne lastly beat the Hurricanes (simply me?). Getting by that Ultimate Boss helped propel Jordan, LeBron, and Osborne to their first of many titles.

I don’t assume the Payments are on the trajectory of a possible dynasty, however I’m attempting to assist right here, guys. You had been one of many Tremendous Bowl favorites at the start of the yr, so clearly you might have expertise. You simply went into Foxborough and mildly outplayed them. Assume constructive. Envision a win. Do no matter superstition you assume works.

Payments’ followers ought to take solace in the truth that Tom Brady isn’t beneath heart anymore and know that soccer followers in all places however New England are rooting for them to beat the shit out of the Patriots. We need to see this workforce get destroyed. The Infinity Gauntlet could also be in Tampa, however you possibly can nonetheless cut off Thanos’ head.

Don’t ask, “Why, God?! WHYYYYY?!?!” God didn’t do that, the satan did, and Invoice Belichick, Brady, and Alex Guerrero are the varieties he took. Have you ever seen Mac Jones? He doesn’t appear to be the type of man who would make a cope with devil. It seems to be like Belichick drafted him out of Pleasantville, and recently he has performed much less just like the Mac-churian Candidate and extra like Tobey Maguire.

I’d say don’t ever let anybody giggle at you, however you guys put on Zubaz pants and slam one another via folding tables. The one joke, although, is the Patriots — at the least that’s what try to be telling your self, together with, “I’m worthy of a very good soccer workforce.”

If I’ll quote M quoting Tennyson in Skyfall:

“Tho’ a lot is taken, a lot abides; and although
We’re not now that power which in outdated days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we’re, we’re;
One equal mood of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and destiny, however robust in will
To try, to hunt, to search out, and to not yield.”

I’m not fairly positive what which means; it simply feels like some cool shit to recite when going through Javier Bardem post-Cyanide, so I determine it really works when going through Belichick post-Brady.

Good luck, Payments followers.

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